Out of the Mouths of Babes
by ilovetvalot
Summary: THREESHOT Hotch/Garcia What happens when Hotch's junior g-man decides to play matchmaker?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: As you all know by now, we are in full swing on the Profiler's Choice Awards hosted on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". _And we'd like to offer an extra incentive to get those nominations rolling in. For the next five people to complete the nomination ballot in its entirety, I would be happy to write a oneshot of your pairing preference (hetero, slash or femslash, doesn't matter!). _We have an abundance of incredible stories and authors to choose from this year and we have already received many wonderful nominations. Just to refresh your memory though, tonnie2001969 and myself (ilovetvalot) have removed ourselves from eligibility in the interest of avoiding all appearances of self-promotion. But, we want to make this an incredible experience for each one of you and give you a well-rounded final voting selection to choose from. So let's all put on our reading caps and pick our favorites! **

**Also, don't forget to sign up for our newest challenge at the forum. We're honoring Halloween with our first ever "Candy Land Challenge" and signups run through September 30th! Details are at the forum!**

**We also want to invite you to take a look at our new discussion threat at the forum, "The Ever Controversial Original Character" and a riveting new interview with the very talented forensicwhiz94! Stop by and get to know her!**

**As always, guys, Happy Reading!**

* * *

**Out of the Mouths of Babes**

**Chapter One**

Wearily walking into his condo, his five year old son trailing behind him, Aaron Hotchner closed his eyes and reminded himself that choking his young son would be WRONG.

"But, _why_, dad?" Jack whined for the tenth time since Hotch had picked him up from his Aunt Jessica's neat house on the outskirts of the city.

"For the last time, Jack, it isn't appropriate," Hotch replied tiredly, turning to assess his determined son. Dark eyes that mirrored his own stared stubbornly back at him.

"But, daddy," his son whined, his nose wrinkling, "You heard Aunt Jess! You gots to get back in the mating game," Jack said seriously.

"The _dating _game, son. She said the dating game," Hotch corrected his little boy with a grimace, lifting his hands to massage his aching temples. "And you weren't supposed to be listening to our very adult conversation," he admonished sternly, his dark eyes meeting his boy's.

"She said I needed a eternal touch," Jack declared, determination etched in the little guy's smooth face. "And I heared that tone before, Daddy! She meant it."

"She said you needed a _maternal_ touch and I'm well aware that your aunt was serious. And so am I. I am not asking your Aunt Penelope on a date," Hotch said firmly, crossing his arms over his chest as he faced his young son. For some reason, debating with his son often took as much preparation as he had used as a prosecutor…and Jack was definitely trickier than any defense attorney Hotch had ever faced before.

"Aunt Jess is right!" Jack huffed, stomping his small foot on the floor. "You are a stubborned jackrabbit!"

"That wasn't exactly what Aunt Jessica called me," Hotch sighed. "But, close enough. And I get to be a stubborn jackrabbit if I want to be. I'm the grown up here." Although, he had to admit, he felt like he was rapidly devolving into an irate child. When his son felt strongly about something, he'd devote his last breath into driving his point home. "And you, my young man, are skating very close to the end of my patience. We do NOT stomp when we get angry."

"But, I love Aunt Penny!" Jack proclaimed passionately, his tiny fists balled at his side as he faced off with his father, visions of his always smiling blonde haired aunt dancing through his mind.

"I love her, too, Jack," Hotch said softly, dropping to a knee in front of his son. And he did. During the last year, Penelope Garcia had proven herself worth her weight in gold. Always available on a moment's notice, she'd pulled his ass out of the fire repeatedly. Whether it was for last minute babysitting, baking cookies with a lonely Jack, or just being available to listen when things in his home became overwhelming, Penelope had proven time and again that she was a loyal friend. But asking her on a date to satisfy the desire of his five year old son wasn't something he was prepared to ask of her. Even she had to have limits.

"Then why can't she come be my second mommy? Amy gots a second daddy," Jack pouted, mentioning his fellow first-grade pal. "And you _told_ me that it was even better to have three parents that loved you more than anything! I only gots one!" Jack argued vehemently, popping one grubby finger in the air in front of Aaron's face.

His son had inherited his sense of logic, Hotch thought grimly, and that slight fact didn't bode well for his future. "Has it occurred to you, son, that Aunt Penny might not want to go on a date with me?"

"That's silly," Jack scoffed, rolling his eyes in the same way his late mother used to do when she'd become inherently frustrated by the state of events in her world. "Uncle Morgan says she makes cop eyes ev'ry time you ain't lookin'," he informed his father matter of factly.

"Again, son, I _think_ what you mean is cow eyes. And your Uncle Morgan and I are going to have a long discussion regarding acceptable topics you two can debate. You Aunt Penelope and I are not an acceptable choice. Furthermore, Uncle Morgan is wrong. Aunt Penelope and I are _friends._ Like you and Amy. And, finally, 'ain't' isn't a word," Hotch explained, striving for patience. If only his little boy realized how deeply his feelings ran for the enthusiastic technical analyst...but again, not an appropriate subject for discussion with a five year old, Aaron, he reminded himself.

"I want Amy to be my girlfriend," Jack countered, crossing his arms over his chest and mimicking his father's earlier pose to a tee. "And I think you want Aunt Penny to be _your_ girlfriend."

Out of the mouths of babes, Hotch silently moaned. Cocking his head to the side, Hotch studied his son's willful expression. A perfect blend of him and Haley, he couldn't help the small smile that formed against his lips. "So, you've given this idea a great deal of thought, huh?"

"Uh huh," Jack nodded dutifully. "Aunt Penny is the bestest, daddy! She knows everything," Jack enthused, holding his arms wide and encompassing the room. "And she's _always _happy!"

"Yeah," Hotch admitted grudgingly with a nod, "She is."

"And she always knows what my favorite things are. And she don't treat me like a baby...even when I get a boo-boo. She just kisses them better and tells me I'm her little g-man. I loves her, Daddy, and I think you do, too."

His son certainly had a promising future in litigation if he chose to pursue that as his destiny. His serious little boy had made a sound convincing argument...for both of them. Penelope Garcia was exactly the sort of woman Haley would have wanted to guide her son into manhood...pure of heart, loyal, dependable and most of all, infatuated with their tiny child. "I'll tell you what, Buddy," Hotch said, rubbing Jack's stiff arm, "I'll call Aunt Pen and make the offer. But, if she says 'no', that's the end of it. No more arguing and complaining."

"You'll ask her?" Jack asked, his face lightening up with a beatific smile as his eyes widened on his small face.

"I'll ask," Hotch confirmed with a nod. "But the final decision rests with her. And I'm only going to ask her to dinner. Not to move in here with us," Hotch clarified. He knew his son well. If he gave an inch, Jack would attempt to grab his mile with both hands.

Mouth twitching from side to side as he deliberated his father's offer, Jack muttered, "Well, it's a start. But I bets you and Aunt Penny have lots of dates after the first one."

"Don't get your hopes up," Hotch warned, his eyes softening as he looked at his hopeful son. "But, we'll see." Rising back to his feet, he ordered, "Now, go get on your jammies and hop into bed. I'll call Aunt Penny after I tuck you in."

"'Kay, Daddy," Jack grinned, scampering towards his room, content that his mission had been completed.

And staring after the walking, talking miniature replica of himself, Aaron Hotchner wondered what exactly he'd gotten himself into.

And forty-five minutes later, as he heard Garcia's bright, albeit recorded voice say, "You've reached the personal phone of the Goddess of Goodness. State your request after the beep and know that all wishes granted are non-refundable," Aaron Hotchner knew that he was about to make a step toward the future.

"Garcia," Hotch said deeply after the cursory beep, "It's Hotch. And I've got an odd...request. How would you feel about dinner on Friday night sans Jack? I've made a promise to a five year old and I'm hoping that you're in one of your generous moods for a date. Let me know, okay? Goodbye."

Damn, he could only hope he hadn't sounded as flustered as he felt, he thought as he dropped his cell phone on the table in front of him with a shaky hand. How the hell long had it been since he'd asked out a girl? How long ago had senior prom been?

But, for better or worse, the wheels had been set into motion. He could only hang on for the ride now.

* * *

_**Author's Note 2 - Also guys, please don't forget that if you'd like to advertise the awards on your own profile pages or stories, there's a short blurb on my (ilovetvalot) and Tonnie's (tonnie2001969) profile page for you to copy and paste if you choose! **_

**_And thanks to everyone that continues to read, review, favorite and alert! You guys and gals are awesome!_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: As you all know by now, we are in full swing on the Profiler's Choice Awards hosted on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". _And we'd like to offer an extra incentive to get those nominations rolling in. For the next five people to complete the nomination ballot in its entirety, I would be happy to write a oneshot of your pairing preference (hetero, slash or femslash, doesn't matter!). _We have an abundance of incredible stories and authors to choose from this year and we have already received many wonderful nominations. Just to refresh your memory though, tonnie2001969 and myself (ilovetvalot) have removed ourselves from eligibility in the interest of avoiding all appearances of self-promotion. But, we want to make this an incredible experience for each one of you and give you a well-rounded final voting selection to choose from. So let's all put on our reading caps and pick our favorites! **

**Also, don't forget to sign up for our newest challenge at the forum. We're honoring Halloween with our first ever "Candy Land Challenge" and signups run through September 30th! Details are at the forum!**

**We also want to invite you to take a look at our new discussion threat at the forum, "The Ever Controversial Original Character" and a riveting new interview with the very talented forensicwhiz94! Stop by and get to know her!**

**As always, guys, Happy Reading!**

* * *

**Out of the Mouths of Babes**

**Chapter Two**

Three o'clock the following afternoon found Jack Hotchner stomping angrily toward his favorite Aunt's office. Jeez, what was it with adults? How could they make the tiniest thing so hard? All she had to do was say yes, and he'd be on the road to building his own personal family again. What the heck was the holdup?

Not bothering to knock on the bright pink painted door that his daddy had given his Aunt special permission to decorate, Jack Hotchner strode into the room, fueled by only the righteous rage a five year old little boy could muster. "Aunt Penny! You're killin' me!"

Jumping in her chair as she heard her office door bounce off the wall, Penelope quickly closed the screens on her computer upon hearing that sweetly familiar voice's strident yell, the images something no child should ever see. Heck, SHE didn't even want to see them.

"Hey, Jackster," she smiled, spinning in her chair to face her favorite little man in the world, looking so much like his father it made her heart hurt. Taking in the thunderous expression clouding his tiny face, she frowned momentarily. "What's got my favorite junior g-man in a huff this sunny day?"

Closing the door to his Aunt's office with a click, Jack rounded on his favorite aunt, pointing an accusing finger at her. "You and me has gots to talk, Aunt Penny!"

"What'd I do?" Penelope asked quickly, seeing her surrogate nephew's eyes narrow on her dangerously. Running through possible scenarios in her mind, she knew she hadn't forgotten the little man's birthday, and she couldn't remember breaking any promises to the usually angelic little boy in front of her.

"I had him, Aunt Penny. Hooped, line, and tinker," Jack growled, stomping his foot in obvious agitation.

And now he appeared to be channeling a couple other members of his adopted family. She'd heard that growl many times before in the young boy's Uncle Rossi. And the stomping foot...that was all Aunt JJ...especially when Will ticked her off. "I think you mean 'hook, line and sinker', my precious peach. But, I'm still not sure what you're talking about," Penelope replied, cocking her head as she watched her young charge stiffen.

"Where were you last night?" Jack asked impatiently, his tiny foot tapping against the industrial carpeting of her office floor. "I finally gots him to say yes and you didn't answer the phone!"

"Little Man," Penelope said, rolling her chair closer to him and gently drawing the unresisting little body up on her lap. "Slow down and tell Aunt Penny what she's missed."

"Daddy called you for a date," Jack grumbled, his lips pooching out in disgust. "A real one, Aunt Penny!"

"What?" Pen asked with widened eyes, staring down at the top of Jack's bent head. Surely, she'd misheard that. Or misunderstood. Or the Jackster had misunderstood.

"Yeah," Jack stated miserably. "He called you last night, but you didn't answer your phone," he pouted. "And now, everything is messed up. You were 'sposed to say yes! You were supposed to answer."

Feathering her fingers through Jack's downy locks, Penelope spun them back toward her desk with a flourish. "Hold tight, Gummy Bear," she mumbled, plucking her bright purple iPhone off her desk and wincing as she realized that, yes, she had indeed missed a phone call from her boss. Quickly dialing her voice mail, she pressed the phone to her ear and listened to Aaron Hotchner's stilted voice ask her out for...yep...he'd said DATE.

Barely resisting the urge to shriek, she silently cursed herself for allowing last night to be the ONE freaking night she'd left her valued cell resting on her desk! That's what she got for hurrying home to watch the season finale of Rescue Me...she'd missed what could have been the single most important call of her entire freaking life!

Dropping her phone back on her desk with an audible groan, she dropped her head in her hand as Jack glared at her over his shoulder. "Told ya!" he grumbled.

Okay, Penelope thought as she took a deep breath. There was no problem that didn't have a solution, right? She refused to believe she'd allowed herself to miss her golden opportunity with her hunky heroic Boss Man. "Yes, you did," Penelope acknowledged. "Tell Aunt Penny, Jack...is Daddy mad?"

"Nah," Jack shook his head. "Just sad," he shrugged. "When I asked him about it, he said some things just weren't meant to be. And sometimes friends needed to just be friends."

No, Pen's mind screamed. "And sometimes, Aunt Penny needs to remember to pick up her phone," Garcia groaned.

"So, you wanna go on a date with my daddy?" Jack asked hopefully. "Cuz, I think you should. I told daddy that, too," Jack nodded.

"You did?" Pen asked, smoothing her fingers over Jack's head again.

"Uh huh," Jack nodded. "You're perfect for us, Aunt Penny," Jack said, turning on her lap and staring up at her with shining eyes. "You're happy. You love me. And when you're 'round, Daddy laughs. And Daddy _never _laughs much. But when you're there, he does. Smiles, too. I want daddy to be happy again and I know when you is there, he is," Jack explained with the genuine honesty only a child could provide.

"You know what?" Penelope whispered, her eyes tearing at Jack's childlike delivery of the facts. "You and your daddy make me happier than anybody on earth, too. Like, singing and dancing happy," she smiled, bouncing her legs underneath her young friend for emphasis. "And I'd love to go on a date with your daddy."

"Really?" JJ whooped, his excitement building as he literally bounced against her legs. "Can I go tell 'im?" he asked with bright eyed intensity.

"Why don't you let me talk to him?" Penelope grinned, swallowing past the emotion clogging her throat. Leaning forward, she whispered, "I think this is gonna be one of those adult conversations that your dad says is off limits to little ears."

"Awww, Aunt Penny!" Jack whined, crossing his arms stubbornly over his chest.

Smiling, Garcia shook her head. "Don't worry. I'll give you the scoop later, Mini-Hotch," she winked, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "But for now," she said, reaching for the phone and dialing Spencer Reid's extension, "I think it's time for one of Uncle Reid's superspecial physics magic shows, don't you?"

"All right!" Jack yelled happily, pumping his fist in the air with the exuberance that only a child could express.

* * *

_**Author's Note 2 - Also guys, please don't forget that if you'd like to advertise the awards on your own profile pages or stories, there's a short blurb on my (ilovetvalot) and Tonnie's (tonnie2001969) profile page for you to copy and paste if you choose! **_

**_And thanks to everyone that continues to read, review, favorite and alert! You guys and gals are awesome!_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: As you all know by now, we are in full swing on the Profiler's Choice Awards hosted on "Chit Chat on Author's Corner". And we'd like to offer an extra incentive to get those nominations rolling in. For the next five people to complete the nomination ballot in its entirety, I would be happy to write a oneshot of your pairing preference (hetero, slash or femslash, doesn't matter!). We have an abundance of incredible stories and authors to choose from this year and we have already received many wonderful nominations. Just to refresh your memory though, tonnie2001969 and myself (ilovetvalot) have removed ourselves from eligibility in the interest of avoiding all appearances of self-promotion. But, we want to make this an incredible experience for each one of you and give you a well-rounded final voting selection to choose from. So let's all put on our reading caps and pick our favorites! **

**Also, don't forget to sign up for our newest challenge at the forum. We're honoring Halloween with our first ever "Candy Land Challenge" and signups run through September 30th! Details are at the forum!**

**As always, guys, Happy Reading!**

* * *

**Out of the Mouths of Babes**

**Chapter Three**

Rapping lightly on Aaron Hotchner's partially ajar office door twenty minutes later, Penelope Garcia reminded herself that drooling wasn't considered de rigueur, especially in the hallowed halls of the Federal Building. But who could blame her, she thought with a longing look at her boss's handsome form, currently bent over some file on his desk, his phone's handset pressed to his ear.

Watching him as she waited for him to bid her entrance, she tried to ignore the way his suit clung to his broad shoulders. She tried to stop herself from imagining curling up against that solid chest. And she definitely tried to block out images of his capable hands traveling deliciously over her rounded curves.

But Jack's innocent confessions had set her mind afire and unforeseen possibilities had now risen unbidden to the forefront of her active imagination.

"Hey, Garcia? Is Hotch busy at the moment?" Emily Prentiss' voice asked suddenly from behind her.

Guiltily hopping away from Aaron's door, Garcia turned to face her curious co-worker. "Uhmm...it looks like he's on the phone."

"Oh," Emily muttered, dropping her gaze to the files in her hand. "I was hoping I could get his signature on these before I left for the day. I've got dinner with the Ambassador tonight," she said by way of explanation.

Reaching for the folders, Pen grinned happily. The perfect excuse for her afternoon visit, she thought happily. "I'll take care of those for you, Peaches," she offered gamely. "I'll even deliver them to Strauss myself once our Captain's coveted signature is planted on these papers."

"God, PG," Emily breathed, a sigh of relief in her words. "You're a lifesaver!" she smiled.

"Anytime, Sweets," Pen winked, gripping the files in one greedy hand. "Off with you now," she said with a nod as Hotch yelled, "Come in!"

"O, Captain, my Captain," Penelope sang as she walked into Hotch's office, closing the door behind her.

Eyes lifting from his computer, Hotch's heartbeat accelerated as they focused on the woman that had been occupying his thoughts for more time than he was comfortable admitting. "Garcia," he rumbled, uncertain if he should mention last night's phone call. He hadn't heard anything back from her...an oddity when she was always so disturbingly prompt in returning his prior messages. "What can I do for you?"

"Hey, Boss Man," she winked, "I just wanted to come by and get your John Hancock on these forms," she said, holding up her file folders, overwhelmingly grateful that she'd been able to intercept Emily on her way in, thus giving her the perfect reason to darken his door.

"Oh," Hotch murmured, reaching for the files she held out. He hoped his tone hadn't been evident to her, although he had easily heard the obvious disappointment in his voice.

"I promised her that I'd drop them off on the she-demon's desk afterward, so..." Penelope trailed off, nodding toward the forms.

Reaching for his fountain pen, Hotch's lips twitched. "Penelope, haven't we discussed your pet names for our esteemed Section Chief before?" he asked, tongue in cheek as he scrawled his signature on the first paper.

"You have," Penelope said with a bob of her head as she assumed her normal position perched on the edge of his desk. Watching him scan the next document, she bit her lower lip. "So...," she said carefully, watching his face, "I had an unexpected visitor a few minutes ago that delivered me a piece of information I was shocked to hear."

"Oh?" Hotch said noncommittally, studiously ignoring the shapely leg swinging inches from his hand and refusing to look up at her as he signed his name again on another tedious bureaucratic form.

"Uh huh," Pen nodded, watching his jaw tense. "A little three and a half feet tall Cupid on my doorstep. And he definitely didn't want to fill his bow with hugs and kisses."

Freezing mid pen-stroke, Hotch eyes widened, staring blankly at the page. "I told him to stay away from your office this afternoon."

"He didn't," Penelope informed him lightly. "And I'm very grateful for that. I left my phone here last night," she added softly. "I hadn't even bothered to check my messages today, what with the case the alternate BAU team dropped on my desk this morning. Imagine my surprise when I found out I missed the phone call I've been waiting on," she told him, carefully watching Hotch's face for signs of softening.

Hotch's jaw dropped as her soft spoken words penetrated. The call she'd been waiting for? "Is that so?" he asked, his deep voice quiet in the suddenly still room.

"Yep," Penelope said faintly, wiping her sweaty hands against her skirt as he finally lifted his head to turn and nail her with a steady gaze that pinned her to the desk as surely as his hands could. "I would have kicked myself in the tushie if I could have reached it myself," she confided honestly, slapping her backside for effect.

Eyes twinkling as he felt something relax inside him, Hotch deadpanned, "I could always help you with that. My mother taught me it was poor manners not to assist a lady in need."

Eyes lighting up, Penelope grinned cheekily. "Was that my stoic Unit Chief actually making an attempt at bawdy humor?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Hotch replied dryly. "I was merely suggesting that if you'd like to bend over, I'd happily oblige your request."

"Any request?" Penelope giggled, wriggling her eyebrows suggestively as she swung a lime green heel back and forth.

Shifting in his seat uncomfortably as tantalizing images sprang to mind, Hotch cleared his throat. "So...my son ratted me out, huh?"

"He did. Although, I'd have checked those messages eventually. And, believe me, you'd have had my response in a nanosecond," Penelope replied truthfully, fiddling with the hem of her bright yellow skirt.

"Really?" Hotch questioned, raising a dark brow as his somber eyes sought the truth in her eyes. "Because if going out with me isn't something you really want, I can explain to Jack...mmmfff," he breathed as Penelope's voluptuous body collided with is, her agile lips meeting his and effectively silencing him as his arms slipped reflexively around her body.

Moaning as Hotch took control of the embrace, Penelope's knees shook at the first slow slide of his warm tongue against hers. Spicy, with just the slightest tinge of coffee, she quickly decided that Aaron Hotchner just might replace her favorite chocolate bar as her favorite snack. Wickedly decadent, she briefly wondered if she should have locked the door upon her arrival.

Finally pulling away from her intoxicating kiss, Hotch blinked rapidly as he tried to remind his body of the definition of inappropriate office behavior. His body, however, told his mind to shut the hell up when Penelope's fingers teased the back of his neck, coaxing his lips back to hers.

"In case you were wondering, Agent Amazing, my answer is a yes," Penelope whispered against Aaron Hotchner's hungry lips.

And standing just outside the glass of his office window, little Jack Hotchner smiled widely. "Daddy and Penelope sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First, comes love," he sang, turning to bop jubilantly down the hall. "Then comes marriage. Here comes Penny with a baby carriage!"

And as he sang the last versed, he wondered if his future brother or sister would have pink striped hair, too.

_**THE END**_

* * *

_**Author's Note 2 - Also guys, please don't forget that if you'd like to advertise the awards on your own profile pages or stories, there's a short blurb on my (ilovetvalot) and Tonnie's (tonnie2001969) profile page for you to copy and paste if you choose! **_

**_Again, thanks to everyone reading, reviewing, alerting and favoriting this story!_**


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